Le Bark
by Yusacream
Summary: Why was Arthur casting that spell anyways? Some F.A.C.E. family randomness.


A loud exploding noise burst through the hallways. At the moment, Matthew and Alfred thought that it was just another one of Englands' failed magic spell-things. But, it was soon proceeded by yelling, and BARKING, and as far as Mattie and Alfred knew, they and their parents did NOT have a dog.

"YAY, WE GOT A DOGGIE!" Exclaimed a happy, young Alfred as he skipped down the hallways to Englands "Special" room. Trying to keep up with his older brother, Matthew noticed that in his parents room, papa (France/francis) had left a lot of wine bottles on the bed. Empty wine bottles. Canada knew that he would probably be all loopy for awhile, and would start saying weird things to Daddy (england/arthur) that seemed to make him uncomfortable, and that normally would later lead to Francis dragging Arthur into their bedroom for quite a long time with strange noises coming from the room.

As they got closer to the room, most of the yelling was able to be clearly distinguished as Arthurs, and they could also hear Francis' voice, which, strangly, was constantly followed by a loud barking noise.

Alfred quitely opened the old door, and peeked in, seeing a large, golden dog barking at Arthur. Alfred's eyes got wide, and he glomped the huge dog. "PUPPY!" England and, mysteriously, the dog suddenly got a starteled look on their faces. England look furious. "Alfred, what did I tell you about coming into this room without my permission? Do you know what could happen?" Arthur began to look at the dog while he was saying this, which confused Alfred. While Arthur was still scolding his son, Matthew finally made it to the room (on the way over he tripped on himself) and saw the dog growling at Arthur. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the dog suddenly got all happy and pounced on the small Canadian boy and began licking his face. "Give papa a kiss, Mattie!" Matthew looked surprised by the dogs speach. It sounded just like Francis. "Papa?" He asked as the dog nuzzled his face.

After things had calmed down, Arthur began to explain what had happened. "I was doing my magic, as usual, and in the middle of a very important spell. Then your idiot father came in without me knowing, and you heard that explosion? Yes, that was when he became even more of an ass than he already was." Francis growled "Well, maybe if you did your magic somewhere nobody could find, maybe this wouldn't have happened!" Arthur looked quite mad, and kicked the dogs bottom, "WANKER!" The dog didn't seem upset. Instead, he stood up, walked to Arthur, lifted his leg, and did his "buisness". "Since I am a dog, I can piss and shit where ever I want, non? Hon, hon, hon." Alfred looked excited. "Does this mean we can do it too, Dad?" "NO!" Yelled Arthur, while trying to clean off his boot with a spare hankerchif.

"Anyways, you will just need to learn to live with youre father as a dog for awhile, while I try to fix this problem." While Arthur was saying this, Francis decided to take advantage of his new height. He trotted over to Arthur and began to play with "Big Ben". "DO YOU WANT ME TO GET YOU FIXED?" Francis began to whimper and backed off. Matthew looked confused. "What does it mean to fix someone, Dad?" Arthur began to blush immensaly. "Well..." "ITS WHEN YOU CAN'T HAVE ANYMORE PUPPIES!" Exclaimed a very happy Alfred, (choking) hugging the dog, which he forgot in reality was his papa. Arthur didn't bother scolding the boy, although he could clearly see that the dog was suffering. Actually, it seemed that Arthur found it quite amusing.

In the afternoon, Francis began to get hungry. He didn't want any food made by Arthur for obvious reasons. So, instead, he went and found Matthew. Francis began playing with the small, blonde boy, and eventually got him to go on his back. Francis went in to the kitchen, got Matthew to get off, and asked "Can you give me some food?" Matthew looked around, went to the freezer, and brought out something that looked strange, like most food meant for dogs. It tasted horrible. Suddenly, Francis felt quite sick. "W-who made this food, Mattie?" "I think Daddy did, Papa." At that moment, Arthur walked into the room, about to cook up another of his many... "delicacys." "What's wrong with you? You look even worse than usual." While Matthew was giggling with Alfred, who recently came in, Francis got up. "YOUR FOOD TASTES BAD EVEN AS A DOG!" "WHAT DID YOU SAY, WANKER?" Arthur grabbed the dogs ears, and Francis yelped, proceeding with Francis biting his leg. Alfred thought it looked like fun, so he began biting Arthurs leg, too. "STOP BITING MY LEG!" When he had finally managed to shake them off, he realized Francis had peirced his skin with his sharp teeth. Francis looked at him, with a sympothetic face, licked his wound, and said "I'm sorry, angleterre."

Later at night, after Alfred and Matthew were put to bed, Arthur was reading a book in he and Francis' bedroom. Francis entered the room, and despite his size, sat on Arthurs' lap. "Get off of me! You're heavy!" Cried the tired British man. Suddenly, Francis began to lick Arthurs' mouth, and he knew what he wanted. "I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH A DOG, YOU GIT!" And he pushed Francis to the floor. After this, Arthur found it pointless to try and continue reading, so he decided to go to bed. While he got in, he saw Francis trying to sleep on the cold, hard floor. He felt bad, so he patted the side of the bed as an invitation to Francis to sleep by him. Francis, of course, did not hesitate. He snuggled up to Arthur and fell asleep almost immediantly. Arthur smiled, put his arm around him, and fell asleep by his side.

In the morning, when Arthur woke up, he felt something fuzzy, but not as soft as the dogs' fur had been the night before. He opened his eyes some more, and saw that Francis had returned to his normal self. His normal self, as in, he was completly naked. Arthurs' movement caused Francis to awaken, still having Arthurs arm around him. Almost immediantly after he woke up, he asked "Do you want something? Hon, Hon, Hon~"  
>"GIT!" <p>


End file.
